You don't have to be a victim of your own mind.
The mental health issues of anxiety, stress and depression go hand-in-hand with overthinking and rumination, which is where your brain puts your fears, worries, and anxieties on an endless loop.
Our "negative bias" might save our lives, or it might just torture us.
Anxiety is normal. In fact, one of the things that makes us anxious is an in-born negativity bias that we all have. I’m talking about the specific kind of anxiety we know as worry.
Don't let anxiety take control.
If you’re the child of anxious parents, you probably inherited their attitudes, by nature and by nurture. Your brain is full of fearful thoughts. Worry is a daily companion, no matter how many people tell you it’s silly.
Anxiety (and its big brother, fear) is always about something that hasn’t happened yet. Even when the worst does happen, anxiety goes away. It’s not the loss of a limb that is frightening; it’s the anticipation of losing a limb that makes you afraid.
How to adjust your "happiness set point".
Human beings are never satisfied with what we have, and we always look to the future to get more. "If only I’d win the lottery, I’d be happy," we say.
Turns out, not so much. A study published in 1978 observed lottery winners and also victims of accidental paralysis.
“When they’re little they sit on your lap; when they’re big they sit on your heart.”
There’s so much advice, so many well-meaning writers and authorities, and plenty of first-hand accounts of what "works" or what’s "good" for the kids.
I can’t find a single article that talks about what it’s really like to BE a parent, especially the parent of adult children.
Every girl deserves loving empowerment.
My mother taught me how to be a woman. Her mother taught her. And I taught my daughter.
The old lessons die hard.
Despite the fact that I have spent many years focused on growth and new ideas, I can still see, in myself, the second-class person I learned to be.
Even when we’re doing well, even when we’ve reached the power position, there’s a nagging sense that we’re fraudulent, and we’re going to be "found out."
In Praise of Elders
5 Things Attractive Older Women Do To Look (And Feel) Young
Hint: It Isn't Botox!
What is it exactly that makes someone 'attractive?' When you hear the word, do you think of physical beauty? Many people do. But, there are plenty of models and movie stars who are physically beautiful yet no want really wants to get close to them.
Politics Make Strange Bedfellows
When the whole country is fighting, what's a couple to do? This year’s presidential race promises to be the most contentious in the past 188 years — that is, since Andrew Jackson was elected.
It seems we’ve broken down into two camps: "Anybody But Hillary" and "Anybody But Trump." If you and your partner are on opposing sides of this — dare I say it? — WALL, it can wreak havoc on your relationship.
Keeping Married Love Alive
Here's the secret to actually ENJOYING your 'happily ever after.'
You've met and married the love of your life. Congratulations. What happens after the two of you ride off into the sunset? What does it mean to live 'happily ever after?'
You've heard it before: The honeymoon doesn’t last forever. (And yet, we still seem to expect it to.)
It's every loving parent's goal: Shower my children with love and protect them from harm. These days, protecting kids from harm also includes 'emotional harm.' We're more mindful than ever about the negative impact bullying and criticism have on a child's blossoming self-esteem...
It makes no sense. If you want to be a doctor, you spend countless hours studying medicine. If you want to be a lawyer, you spend years of your life in law school. But the most important thing in our lives — our relationships — are just supposed to "come naturally."...
As I observe people “in recovery,” I am aware of an enormous amount of self-inflicted suffering. There are several kinds: the self-critical voice that keeps telling the individual that he’s not enough, the lack of awareness of limits, which keeps the person working past exhaustion...
A great deal of pain is the result of someone acting out an emotion. Very often, that acting-out is mistakenly identified as "expression." You hear, "I have to get my anger out!" as an excuse for yelling, or worse. "I have to express my feelings!" doesn't mean kicking the cat...
You can't turn on the TV lately without hearing the newest shocker about what sex addictionhas done to famous people. It becomes a bad joke that, whenever someone famous trips over him or herself, the answer is "rehab." Alternatively, political candidates try to claim that the problem is "resolved," despite many clues to the contrary...
You know how it goes — You and your spousestart off talking about something (what you want for dinner, what happened at work today, ... the topic doesn't even matter) and before you know it, you’re in a fight...
Remember, as a child, when your teachers and parents told you, "Stop, look, and listen before you cross the street." It was a simple strategy that kept you safe from disaster. Nowadays, you easily cross the street without harm because you stop, look, and listen automatically...
Over the years we’ve become familiar with what psychologist Jeanne Safer calls ‘sib speak’—those family interchanges fraught with resentment and blame: “Dad visits your family, but never comes to see mine, even though I’m so much closer,” “Mom tells you everything, and I have to find out from somebody else,” “Mom is always on your side.”...
Steve kept pushing the idea of a ménage à trois. Susie was my best friend, and already almost a part of the family. We loved her; she loved us. Even the kids loved her. What could go wrong?”, said Anna. “I never felt particularly sexually drawn to other women, but Susie excited me in lots of ways—I guess you could call it a girl crush. The thought of being closer to her, and sharing more love with her, thrilled me.”...
We use the two words pretty much interchangeably. They are in reality two distinct emotions, each with their own spectrum of usefulness to destruction. Simply put, jealousy refers to feelings of impending loss of something you have [your partner’s love, perhaps], and envy refers to the desire for something someone else has. They are both aspects, and sometimes dysfunctions, of desire...
With the divorce rate skyrocketing, being in a happy and healthy monogamous relationship doesn't always feel like the norm. Rather than work out their issues, some couples just throw in the towel and put their relationships and marriages behind them...
When it comes to relationships, there's a reason why one of the hardest obstacles to overcome is infidelity. There's nothing worse than being hit with betrayal, that loss of trust—especially when you never saw it coming. And we get it. Being able to devote yourself to your partner fully and love them unconditionally, only to have that bond thrown away so carelessly is just the worst...
It doesn't matter how long you've been together. At some point in your marriage, you hit a road block that sets you and your partner back.
Just when you think the worst of the storm is over, another MAJOR issue comes crashing in.
Nowadays, all you do is fight. You have more days when your marriage resembles a battlefield than not.
It's hard not wondering whether or not this will be the argument that finally tears you apart...
Scholars, mental health practitioners, religions and world leaders alike all hold up forgiveness as a cornerstone goal we must embrace in our relationships if we ever wish to create a society we're proud to raise our children in. And yet, forgiveness is hard! No matter how much you agree it's "the right thing," we all struggle with it...